Not exactly. Gay men are accepted in Japan but often treated less serious than het couples whereas lesbian couples are even marginalized more than gay men (I know from the reverence for yaois and the poor portrayals of yuri and the Psycho Lesbian stereotype and gays are more in Japan television than lesbians), which is the opposite of Western societies where lesbians are accepted more than gays. Video below
The reason why lesbians are less accepted than gay men in Japan is because male homosexuality has historical precedents whereas female homosexuality defies the norm that a woman must devote to a man and bear children, so while both gays and lesbians face issues like familial rejection and social exclusion lesbians tend to experience stronger familial dissaproval and pressure to conform to heteronormative as gay men can still benefit from social privilegies as long they can marry women without erasing their identity which is unlike lesbians who must be “fixed” through het marriage and are considered a greater familial dishonor. Both lesbians and unmarried gays are considered “overgrown children” and face social exclusion and familial disownement as well.
Openly gay people risk social discrimination despite Japan lacking laws against the orientation. Families have been known to disown gays and lesbians because of the dishonor they bring to the family and their inability to continue the lineage (Furnham & Saito, 2009).
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Lesbians, in particular, face discrimination. Women who are not satisfied with marriage and childbearing are often seen as lacking and less than a real woman. Lesbians and unmarried gay men are not seen as adults. Lesbians experience intense pressure to appear heterosexual and interested in men (Chalmers, 2002). They also lack the historical precedents that gay men enjoy. To ice the cake, parents are thought to be the reason why a girl is a lesbian. Her sexual orientation is seen as a parental failure that can and should be corrected (Nakagawa, 2010).
It's important to know however that Japan is making progresses with LGBT community between 2018 and 2023.
This study revealed three important findings. (1) Similar to the findings of studies in Western societies, Japanese LGBT individuals typically consider coming out to their fathers considerably more difficult than coming out to their mothers. Moreover, many study participants expressed the absence of a significant relationship with their fathers, even before coming out—making coming out to their fathers unnecessary. (2) Similar to the findings in previous studies, Japanese mothers’ responses are often reactionary and abusive; in fact, a disproportionate number of Japanese lesbian, bisexual female, and transgender Female-to-Male/X-gender individuals reported their mothers’ markedly negative, personal responses, illustrating why some were reluctant to come out to their mothers. (3) By contrast, Japanese gay and transgender Male-to-Female/X-gender individuals reported their mothers’ responses were comparatively undemonstrative. Also, they typically attribute their mothers’ negative responses to the fact that mothers are the solo overseers of heteronormative norms at home.
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
Also there's no legality for same-sex marriage nor LGBT protection laws anyway respire the absence of Anti-LGBT laws. While gays are accepted more than lesbians, they still face stigma ranging from bullyism and familial rejection. Lesbians in particular face bullyism from their classmates and abuse from their parents for not being “girly enough”.
Many Japanese homosexuals hide their orientation in order to avoid disappointing or troubling their friends and family (Furnham & Saito, 2009). Remember, Japanese society and identity revolves around the family. The family comes first, above the desires of the individual. Well, this is the ideal anyway.
